Cuz it Cuts Like a Knife

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned - it has been over a month since my last Blogfession. I blame Facebook.


Hmm, what stories to tell? So much has changed in a month - cute boyfriend is ancient history, other cute boy who I liked last year made a brief re-appearance for some "sexy times" (as Borat would say), I went to New-fun-LAND (actual pronunciation) for a conference but stayed for an extra few days and loved loved lurved it, I got some war wounds from A) carrying a big-ass watermelon home from the grocery store (those suckers are heavy - who would have known?!) which produced bra strap-shaped scars, B) starting this year's balcony tan by burning my armpits, and C) trying to put a computer desk together that had been broken in the teen area when one teen socked another in the face and fell into the computers - I could care less about their faces but the desk-shaped bruise on my knee minds terribly, and most importantly, Operation Get The Fuck Out Of This Shithole is well underway ... ok I haven't got another job yet, but I have started applying at a wide range of places. My favourite new idea (no, it doesn't involve the UK, Australia or Boston) is to become an Arctic Librarian ... no really, I mean it. Go ahead and laugh all you like, but here is my pro and con list for working in Yellowknife:

Yellowknife - PRO

1. Northern lights, here we come! (I think I could be the real life Mrs Coulter, don't you? If I don't have an animal daemon there I will be very disappointed ... although what I actually meant was the ethereal and crazy lights that grace the skies in the long winters).

2. If I can survive winters in the prairies, Yellowknife should be a piece of cake ... ok it may not be easy, but I've trained with the best and now I'm ready to take off the training wheels and become a Master of Windchill.

3. The salary is, let's just say, more than I'm making now, and in a couple years I could easily save enough money to live in the UK or Oz.

4. I'll have lots of free time to write my great Canadian novel.

5. Who needs a car when you can have a snowmobile or dogsled?

6. Land of the midnight sun - tell me that's not cool!

7. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and it is the diamond capital of North America.

8. Tax breaks galore and a possible "Northern Living Allowance".

9. I'd aquire crazy well-rounded library skills - be working with all ages, doing all sorts of shit at the library, and get even more management experience.

10. I hear caribou is yummy.

12. Life is short - you've got to take chances and live in weird places like this when you are young(ish), or you will never do it.

Yellowknife - CON

1. Scary huge bugs and lots of them.

2. Land of midnight sun also means land of almost-all-dark winters.

3. Windchill will be a bitch ... -20 or 30 is one thing, but -30 with wind is much, much colder, and I may get more than a few cases of frostbite. I hear that the record low was -60 (in 1940-something) and in temps like that, trees can explode.

4. 20,000 population probably not the most sophisticated bunch.

5. It's highly likely that there are at-risk youth there too, with too much money, time and drugs to know what to do with them. Luckily, there are fewer people, so there would be fewer teens.

6. Flights to Vancouver (or anywhere, for that matter) will be mucho dolares - at least $800, and even my dad doesn't have enough air miles to pay for more than one of those a year.

7. I'll need to finally get my driver's license (again, this could be a positive) - which will take a year to get because of dumbass graduated licensing, which means at least a year of relying of 1 of 3 bus routes or walking in aforementioned weather to work, to get groceries, etc.

There you have it ... the pro list is longer than con list! And besides, if I apply and get flown up for an interview, even if I don't get the job I'll get to see Yellowknife for a day, which is more than most people can say.

Anyways that's the last month at a glance ... I still haven't decided if this is a good thing or not, but it seems that my mid-sized Canadian city has changed my personality a little over the last 2 years - previous to that, I would never have even considered living in a place like The Knife! A "wise" (ok he's full of shit and the king of cliches, but wise sounds so much nicer) man recently told me that everything happens for a reason, and you know, I'm actually starting to believe that...