Jesus te amo

In honour of this holy day of chocolate and crucifixes, and because I have the day off and am avoiding reading some bad review books, I have decided to write some lists, which as you may know is one of my favourite things to do. This list has to do with songs, some which may have already appeared as facebook status lines, that are totally blasphemous or at the very least have some mildly inappropriate reference to god or jesus that is not in a religious context at all.

Nine Inch Nails - Closer: "I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside, I want to fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed, you get me closer to god".

David Usher - Jesus Was My Girl is a classic, but also White Flag: "Took a trip out to the girly show, it was there I talked to jesus, he said christ don't you believe it, another drink and we talked all night, I asked does it hurt to be you he said boy it hurts like hell"

Manic Street Preachers - they have more than few songs, including Crucifix Kiss, an album called The Holy Bible, but my favourite is "The girl who wanted to be god"

Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus, or "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that god's got a sick sense of humour"

Pulp - The Dishes, in which Jarvis Cocker compares himself to Jesus: "I'm not jesus though I have the same initials - I am the man who stays home and does the dishes"

Morrissey - Dear God, Please Help Me: "Then he motions to me with his hand on my knee, dear God, did this kind of thing happen to you? Now I'm spreading your legs, with mine in-between,
dear God, if I could I would help you". And I also love November Spawned a Monster: "But Jesus made me, so Jesus save me from pity, sympathy and people discussing me, a frame of useless limbs, what can make good all the bad that's been done ?"

Muse - take your pick as most Muse songs have something to do with Apocalypses, burning in hell, or just our ultimate demise - but one of my favourite titles is "Thoughts of a dying atheist".

David Gray - Ain't No Love "Maybe it would do me good if I believed there were a god cut in the starry firmament, but as it is that's just a lie"

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible: "Oh god! Well look at you now! You lost it but you don't know how!", Antichrist Television Blues, or Intervention.

U2 - depending on day and mood, the boys sometimes approve of religion and sometimes don't, hence songs like "God Part II" and the line Bono added to Bullet the Blue Sky during the Rattle and Hum tour: "The god I believe in isn't short of cash, mister!"

And to quote my dimwitted friend from the classic 1994 film Forrest Gump:

Lieutenant Dan: Have you found Jesus yet?
Forrest: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him!

Or to paraphrase Dennis Leary from Rescue Me (because this may not be the exact quote) - if there is a god, he's got an awful lot of explaining to do.

I could go on all day, but I think you get the idea ... feel free to suggest more songs if you think of them. Happy Easter!