Cake, sex and books

Who needs to systematically detail the events of the past when I can just come up with new, random thoughts that have no bearing on anything? Besides, that is what I used to do, so why break with tradition.

My English Muffin just said a wise thing in his email the other day that actually had some significance - he asked why he hadn't heard from me for awhile and suggested that it was no doubt to do with cake, sex, or books. And then I realized how completely inspirational his comment was, for he had come to the truth of my existence:

The three most important things in my life are cake, sex and books. Oh I know it might sound shallow, but let's consider those three things for a moment, and how they are inextricably linked to everything else in life.

Cake

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love cake. But just how much do I love cake? We are talking about a girl who has started to compile a periodic table of cake, has done tiramisu tests around the world, and is never quite as happy as when she has a cup of her vanilla cream tea and any sort of cakey goodness she can get her hands on, ranging from the exquisite and expensive desserts at True Confections in Raincouver, to store bought chocolate covered digestives, and everything in between. And lately, I have come across a startling discovery: I can in fact create some of these desserts on my own! I have baked dark chocolate peanut butter cookies, banana and lemon loaf, and enjoyed the fabulous ginger cake and tiramisu of my former chef boyfriend. I know what you are thinking: cookies are different than cake, but this is simply not true - well not if you are my English Muffin who calls all desserts "cake". So what we are basically discussing is the cake family, which can of course include muffins, loaves, and anything else you possibly want to put in there as long as it has some sugar, flour, and hopefully some chocolate as well. But no milk or cheese, because those are no longer cool in my world.

Sex

Some would think this particular aspect of my holy trinity is a given, but as I have seen in some rare cases of human behaviour, there are actually individuals in this world who do not enjoy sex, and while I do not judge them, I certainly do feel a bit sorry for them. Something that I have come to notice in my 30 years on this earth is that quite often the people who do not enjoy sex are those who have not experienced good sex, and while a lady never talks about her past conquests (I assure you there aren't that many), I feel quite comfortable in discussing my current one: actor boy. As much as you may want me to, I am not going into details or statistics on him, but one thing I do have to say is that we have great sex, and it lasts much longer than the typical 9-12 minutes that 90% of North Americans apparently experience. I almost feel as sorry for them as the people who don't have sex. So while I will not describe the actual sex, I think it is relevant to point out how happy it can make me, and that is why it deserves a spot on this list.

Books

I have saved the best for last because while cake and sex are both quite wonderful, I do strongly believe that if I had nothing in my life but books I would probably be quite happy. It would be frustrating to have to read about the cake and sex, but I could handle it. Books are my profession (paid and unpaid as I am both a librarian and reviewer), they are my hobby, they are the one possession I would attempt to save if my house was burning down, and for that, they are an essential part of my holy trinity. And one day I hope to write travel fiction, picture books and teen novels. I have my picture books, my children's and teen novels, my graphic novels, travel fiction, and even my shitty review books that I don't particularly like I still value as part of my collection. When I moved in the fall I had one of my coolest first dates with actor boy unpacking my picture books and alphabetizing (which was almost better than sex ... I said almost!), only felt truly at home once they were unpacked, have spent money in bookstores of the world, and visit libraries as much as art galleries when I am travelling. I could go on all night about books but really all you have know is they are my lifeblood. And not in an emo sort of way, because if you know anything about me and books, I really really really don't like getting my books dirty, so no cake, no sex, and definitely no blood will be spilled around them.