Hostel takeover

You fucking bitch - you fucking whore! How could you do this?

I get a lot of money for you, and that makes you my bitch.

Classic line from a classic movie. Apart from the classic part. I just watched Hostel, the latest Quentin Tarantino-produced film, in the hope that it would be so bad it would be funny, but I was sadly mistaken. Instead it was so bad it almost made me puke (that seems to be happening a lot lately) and even though it was predictable and not the least bit scary, kept me from sleeping for two nights. The plot: three backpackers (two American and one Icelandic) are in Amsterdam, get locked out of their hostel, and meet some guy who tells them the sweetest, hottest pussy can be found in Slovakia, where the babes totally dig Americans. After going to Bratislava and hooking up with some of the aforementioned babes in their dorm room, two of the three guys (along with a shitload of other people) get drugged and taken to a deserted warehouse where they are brutally tortured (for no particular reason other than being tourists) and then murdered, cut up, and burned. The third guy goes there voluntarily while looking for his friends. Dumbass. I feel a little bad for Tourism Slovakia, because dammed if this is not going to slow down backpacker business for a couple years. That being said, as long as you are not American and don't hook up with cheap whores you should be alright ... and in the end you might be able to run those whores over with a car so at least you get the much deserved revenge. There are a lot of things that don't make sense, such as the people at the torture factory who get brought there even though they aren't American and didn't sleep with cheap whores, and the wide variety of people who work there, including some people who actually don't like being torturers and accidentally get their legs cut off by chainsaws. I suppose that was the humanizing element of the film. But there are more than enough severed arms, legs, fingers and toes, faces melted by blow torches, bodies smashed by trains and cars to make up for the rest of the movie. If you like that sort of thing. And I don't. No, I shouldn't have watched it then, I know, I know. I should have known even before the movie started when I saw that it was made by Lions Gate Films, who are famous for making some similarly disgusting movies like Saw and American Psycho. My bad. Actually, Quentin's bad - I blame him for everything.