Previously on 24

Well it's been awhile and so much has happened that I should probably report on my fascinating life once again. Just kidding ... I live in a mid-sized Canadian town, how much can really happen in a week? And this post has nothing to do with 24 ... I just could hear Kiefer Sutherland's husky voice saying "previously on 24" as I started writing. Or maybe it was the Ford truck commercial that reminded me of him.

While I may not have many newsworthy events to detail, I do (surprise surprise) have some things to bitch about. Oh yeah, for those interested, the dumbass security guard hasn't pissed me off lately, and my 13 year old friend is still into Shakespeare. When he finishes The Tempest I'm going to give him Grace Tiffany's surreal book Ariel, as it is a strange retelling of that play. Then maybe I'll give him Prospero's Books ... or not. It's bad enough I told him to watch Slings and Arrows on Showcase - if his mom ever finds out I put her 13 year old son onto the network channel with the most sex, she'll kill me. Just like the way I'm going to try and get my co-worker's overly Christian sweet young daughter to start reading raunchy books. This is the same girl who said "oh, I can't lie ... I'm a Christian!" I say bring on the Gossip Girls, baby! She's got to learn about it somehow and seeing as how she won't be allowed to have sex before she gets married, I figure it's my duty as a librarian to help her. Maybe I should have titled my blog "Subversive Librarian". And speaking of Slings and Arrows, I just saw an old episode of Due South and was reminded how hot and great of an actor Paul Gross is. Granted Due South is not a very good tv show, but that's irrelevant. It was even sexier in the later episodes when it had Callum Keith Rennie in it - Canadian hunk sandwich! I can't believe I just said that. It's true, though.

I was at a meeting of the Teen Health Network this week (don't ask me why the library needs to be represented on that committee ... maybe because half of the drug problem in our city is going on in and around the library) and had to listen to this girl, who is about my age, snivel about how after 6 months she has decided to take a job in a bigger-sized Canadian city rather than stay here, where she "just doesn't fit in". Oh really, it works that way if you don't like a city - you can just relocate and everyone will accomodate you for your decisions? Suck it up sister! Not everyone loves it here but SOME of us are trying to get a couple years experience before we leave for greener pastures. Literally greener - it doesn't rain a whole lot here. Also funny was when the leader of this Teen Health Network asked me if I was quitting my job, and I said "uh, no (not yet), who told you that I was?" Apparently some girl on another one of her committees said she'd heard that I was. Well it could be worse - there could be rumours about me having sex with my teenage library patrons. Which I would never do, of course.

I've noticed lately that, like many other people on this earth, teens are A) very needy, and B) prone to extreme exaggeration. Like totally. Something is never bad. It's always terrible or the worst thing ever, and good things are often completely awesome or the best thing ever. In a way, I can identify with the teens on this one, because there may have been the rare occasion where I have also participated in such a superlative war. Except for when talking about all the crazy shit that happened to me in South America - that all happened just as I described it. Honest. And with these kids, it's not enough to simply help them find a book - I have to physically go with them to find it on the shelf, even if it's on another floor of the library. They also want me to erase fines so they can use their cards again, and of course, money for bus fare and snacks is always requested. Not that I give it to them, and as I've told them time and time again, "You can ask me all you want but I still won't give you money". However, and at the risk of sounding like I occasionally enjoy my job, there are a few teens I have become quite attached to that I will miss if and when I leave. They may have forgotten about me and moved on by that time, but I'm sure there will be new kids in their place. When I do have these rare moments of reflection, all I have to do is think about the redneck teen, the lesbian stalker and the girl who thinks she has a twin sister, and I come crashing back to earth.